Yesterday’s realization that 2010 sucked, and then 2011 sucked, was kind of daunting. It’s also a little weird, because I’m far from being an unhappy person, or thinking that my life sucks. How can my years suck, if my life doesn’t suck?
Looking back at last year’s end-of-year posts, I see that I was right about 2010 – it wasn’t a great year for me. 2011 wasn’t really a bad year, except for work. And work didn’t leak into home in the same ways that it did in 2010. When things weren’t going well this year, starting in April, it was because I had so little to do. That resulted in less time at work over the summer. I spent more time reading, I took a day to go to the beach with a friend, I came home from work earlier. So the effect on home was a good one. So that’s something, at least.
According to last year’s posts, I had the following resolutions:
1) Lose weight. I didn’t, really. I went up and down with the same 10 pounds, but didn’t really make much progress here. I need to step it up. I did run a good bit, starting in April or May. So I have habits in place – but I need to kick it up a notch. I need to run more, run harder, and do more than just running. I need to do some strength training, and I need to be more careful about food. I’m not letting go of my “fit by 40″ goal. I can do this. I have 11 months, and I can do it.
2) Draft my resume. I did that. But not until I was up against the wall and on my way out the door. But it’s written, and it’s been reviewed by professionals, and it’s in good shape.
Then my littler areas of focus:
My extended family: My sister and I are definitely back in touch and things are good there. I do try to be better with my parents, and I think I’ve been less irritable with them. My brother is no different, but I’m not taking responsibility for that. He and his wife are a bit too overwhelmed by having young children and a job (him, not her) and bills to pay, and I have a very hard time commiserating with them. Because – really? Who DOESN’T have young children and a job and bills to pay? At least at some point? You’d think that they believe my teenage daughters sprung fully formed out of my forehead and that I somehow have a trust fund and pretend I’m a lawyer for show, for the way they’re convinced they’re the ONLY people with young children and a job and bills to pay. If I hear either of them reference my brothers “10-12 hour days” one more time, I may barf. Instead, I hold my tongue, and don’t try to “one up” them with stories of my years in their shoes – with a husband who was in grad school and making NO money (but still working 12-20 hour days . . . he was clever like that), or the years where I was a single parent with young kids, a job, bills to pay, and no second parent in the house. I just say “yeah, it must be hard.” And don’t call again.
So, no. No improvement there.
Family (home): Like I said – this year’s job stuff gave me more time with my family, not less. Lemon was a bit of a snarky kid last year – and this year, she’s in a groove and easy to manage and thriving. Mouse is starting with the snark, but it’s less constant than Lemon’s was, and so far, we can deal. She’s still thriving, and that makes us happy. They’re very good kids. David and I are good – of course some months we’re totally in sync, and others we are “off,” but overall, we’re very good. I’m still grateful every day for being married to a partner.
Community: Well, I just wrapped up producing the Best Play Ever, and I delved into it more than in years past, because I had more time (the good side of no job . . . or transitioning out of a job). This spring, I plan to be involved in the planning and executing of Mouse’s 8th grade graduation (I know, I know, “graduating from 8th grade is STUPID!” But these kids have been in this K-8 school since, well, K. It is a big milestone, and I would like the stupid-callers to do so elsewhere. Thanks!) I know I should do something else, now that I’m wrapping up my volunteer efforts at the kids’ school, but right now, less than a month after producing the play, I don’t want to. I want to say I’ve put in my time, and I’m done. And as far as the kids’ schools are concerned, that may be my final conclusion. I think I’d like to shift my focus to the town-level. Not sure what yet, but I still have time to explore and figure it out.
Finances. David and I did, in fact, see a financial advisor this year. It was illuminating. Depressing, but illuminating. We do NOT have a house fund. We are perma-renters. We did start aggressively socking money away into savings, and our 401k has been doing well. If we hadn’t done that, this job-news would have been a lot more devastating.
Travel. We did some. Not enough. We did New York City in February, I went to Wisconsin with Mouse in April, we went to the Berkshires. We went to Vermont. We went to Maryland/Virginia/D.C. (when my Outer Banks vacation was thwarted). But I still haven’t brought these girls to Europe. And we still haven’t gotten back to California. I want to see my friends, and my sister.
Some positive outcomes from 2011 that I cannot overlook, and that I hadn’t included in my list: Friendships. I have enhanced existing friendships and found new ones. This was especially obvious with the job-issues, as my support network was so very strong. While two of my three most supportive friendships at work have been in place since my summer associate days, another is one that has really taken shape this year. I’m very grateful for this friendship, and glad that I got over my assumption that she and I would never really “relate” to one another, because she’s young and has no kids. Not the case. I’m very glad to have made this friend.
Another new friendship on the home-front, in my running partner. We’re very like-minded (and our mini-me older daughters have found this in one another, as well), and clicked instantly. I have a comfortable easiness with her that I haven’t had with someone in a very long time. ”Wanna come over?” without caring at ALL that there’s dirty laundry on my bathroom floor. A really great find this year.
Still to come — looking ahead to 2012.