Drama on the Home Front

In some ways, I feel like I would have used this as a post title in the past.  I know I’ve used similar.

The nutshell:  In elementary/middle school (my girls were in a K-8 school), my kids were in plays.  And they were successful.  They had lead roles.  Because they enjoyed it and did well, I decided that it would be the way I gave back to the school.  So in my last year of law school, I offered to be a “parent volunteer coordinator.”  By the end of that year, I was a producer.

One of the best experiences of my life.

And I did that, and got to know kids and parents and processes.   I felt like what I learned as a producer informed my experiences as a lawyer.  I learned how to deal with people, how to deal with my own failings, how to rein myself in, how to deal with people, how to convince people to do things they *really* didn’t want to do.

And my girls kept thriving.  They got great roles, they enjoyed the social aspect, they had self-confidence.

Then Emma got to the high school and … well.  They didn’t cast her in any shows.  She did other things, she was resilient.  her sister – still back in the K-8 school – kept getting lead roles.

Then it was Juliette’s turn to go to the high school.  She ended her 8th grade year as the lead in Anything Goes, and she was strong in that role.

I was worried.   It might be bad to admit that I was worried that after Em was rejected for 2 years that Jules would get in to the show, and Em would feel deflated.  Now, Emma has been just — amazing.  She hasn’t been shattered by the decisions not to let her in.  She’s shrugged and said, “I just wasn’t a good fit.”  Last year, she was sad. But she spent the summer doing different acting things, and she has been really strong with crew, and she’s been fine.

But as auditions came up, it was clear that Emma wanted in.  Juliette also wanted in, but after having seen her sister struggle to get in for 2 years, she wasn’t so confident.  She was looking at the Freshman Play as her better chance.

I was really unhappy that auditions took place during my week of travel.  I stayed in touch via phone and text, but I hated being gone.  With auditions on top of sports, the girls were out of the house until 8 and 8:30 p.m., and then got home to eat dinner and do homework.  One one of the audition days, David told me that J was up until 12:30, and E until 2 a.m.

After Freshman Play auditions, J found out pretty quickly that she got a callback.  She was so very excited, and really energized.

A couple days after musical auditions, both girls found out they did NOT get call backs.  Jules wasn’t too surprised, Emma was looking at the bright side (“now I can focus on crew!”).  Emma also said, “well, the policy is that no callback doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t get a part.”  But I said that to her last year when she didn’t get a call back, and she told me I didn’t know what I was talking about.  (Hmpf.)

Then Jules went to the Freshman play callback, and felt like it went really well.

I got home Friday night, and Jules was a ball of nerves starting then and through the weekend.  ”What if I don’t get in?  I really want to do the play! What if I don’t get in?  I might not get in.”

I was encouraging.  Reminded her of her past successes.  Told her I really thought she’d get in.

Monday rolled around.

Mouse didn’t get in.  She texted me, and said she was really sad.  Friends of hers did get in, and she didn’t, and the musical callbacks were the following day, and everyone was a buzz, and she had nothing.

When we were all home that evening, she just dissolved.  She cried (she doesn’t do that so often).  She was very, very sad.  I gave her hugs and let her sit on my lap (which is hard, considering I’m 5’6″ and she’s 5’8.5″).  I wiped her tears, and held my tongue when I thought things like, “it’s good to learn how to do deal with disappointment.” and “well, we still really don’t know about the musical.”  I just let her cry and told her I knew that she was very, very sad.

That was Monday night.

Tuesday a.m., she had the puffiest eyes in the world.  She went to school, still a little glum.

I started to get nervous on Wednesday because she was still glum, even a little snippy.  I didn’t want to see her get into a funk.  We started talking about her doing Volleyball on a private “club” team this winter, since she didn’t have a sport or drama.  She was game, and I thought we’d be okay.

Thursday was my big arbitration, as I mentioned.  I debriefed with colleagues, and made my way to the T station with a friend.  As I was descending the escalator at 6:15, my phone rang.  It was Emma.  She never calls, always texts.  A friend of mine recently told me that HER daughter was crossing the street and got HIT BY A CAR.  So I freaked out.  I answered the phone with “are you okay?!”  First there was nothing on the other end.  Then some yelling.  I got even more nervous, and said again, “are you okay??”  My friend was getting nervous.

“O MY GOD, MOM! THE CAST LIST IS UP AND ALKJKLJHOUWINBEOJN”

“Wait, Emma, what?!?”

“The cast list!  For the musical!  It’s up, and Juliette and I are BOTH ON IT!!!”

I then came back with “ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?” and then had to give my friend a thumb’s up, and she was very nervous that my daughter was dying or something.

So I asked Em if she knew if Jules knew, and she said no – Jules was at Volleyball. It was 6:35 then, and we thought Juliette was a volleyball practice, there at the school.  So Emma decided to stay at the school and be there when volleyball ended so she could be the one to tell her sister the news.

I went underground, and chatted with my friend, grinning like mad.  This was such great news for my girls.  It was so great for Em, after years of trying and being told no, and it was great for Jules to be so happy and so rewarded after such a low thinking she hadn’t made either show.

I got back above ground at 6:50, and my phone INSTANTLY rang.

“MOMMYMOMMYMOMMYMOMMY!!!”  It was Jules. But it wasn’t 7, so I didn’t know if Em had gone into the practice and interrupted, or what?

No.  Jules was at an away game.  Poor Emma was sitting there outside the gym waiting and doing her homework on the floor for NO REASON.  Juliette was on the bus, and a friend texted and told her “The cast list is out!  You are on it!”  And she [again] cried with happiness.  Then she called me.

I ended up texting Em to tell her that J found out.  She knew already, but asked, “please don’t tell Davey?”  So I quick texted David and said, “can you please play dumb with Emma?”  Because OF COURSE I told him the moment I found out!  But she was bummed that she missed telling her sister.

So I got home that night to 2 girls that were just exploding with happiness, and me on a huge high after the positive arbitration, and . . . wow.

Such a happy house.

 

 

Kids + Legal Mumbo Jumbo

Mouse’s braces came off today.  One of my favorite things about that was that Lemon was so excited for her.

At dinner, we were talking about Mouse’s arrival at the high school in the fall.  In the context of the girls’ similar appearances, I laughed and said, “Mouse, you should go into the high school as [Mouse] [Suz's last name], and Lemon, you should stay [Lemon] [Ex's last name].”  They got a kick of out that.  ”Dude!  You look like Lemon!”  ”Oh, yeah, we’re good friends, and she even slept over my house FOR THE PAST 15 YEARS!!”  HA HA HA!!  Say the girls.

But then Lemon said, “you know, now that your braces are off, you kinda do look more like me.”  Mouse agreed.

Other funny braces conversations:

Lemon:  ”Was it wrong of me to think I looked WORSE when my braces came off?”

Mouse:  ”I know!  I thought that, too!”

Me:  ”Why?  Like you’re missing jewelry or something?”

[not saying "you know, you do look weird." because she does.]

Lemon:  ”No, it was like my teeth were too big.”

Mouse:  ”YES!!! And [a boy] told me to ‘take off those creepy fake teeth’ – and I told him, ‘I got my braces off!’”

Then they were a bit wild, and during the wildness, decided it was the perfect night for a HOMEWORK PARTY!!!!  WOO HOO!!!

These things.  They melt my heart. I want these girls to be friends. And here we are.  It was not always the case.  The middle grade years were hard.  Hatred may not have been an exaggerated term.

But now?  Lemon is having friends over this weekend.  They’re having a Lord of the Rings Marathon.  Lemon and her friends thought, “Hey! It would be fun if Mouse watches with us!”  And they invited her. And she said yes. And they are all excited.

Big sigh.

_______________________

So — Work.

I’ve already made clear that this move from BigFirm to New Firm, which is a “Medium Sized Firm,” has been a great one.  But I just want to talk about it for a minute.  Another minute.  Because I have already talked about it.

In the Big Firms, filing deadlines are stressful events.  You have a senior associate, and a mid level associate, and maybe 3 junior associates.  They are working off a rough outline provided by a partner, or a Partner.  They got maybe 10 minutes of said partner’s time, and hoped against hope they were going in the right direction.  If not — they wouldn’t know until the eve of filing.  Deadlines loom, and still no feedback – but then 12 hours before— feedback!  Rewrite! Not good enough!!  Revise!!

My friends and I would say, over and over “It doesn’t have to be this way . . . ”  we know about deadlines 20-30 days in advance. Why does all the stress happen in the 12-24 hours before said deadline?

But now!  I am at a medium sized firm.  And I have better partner access.  I have more control.

Tomorrow is my second filing.  Last time and this time, I’m home by 6:30 the night before. The brief is DONE.  For real.  I will do a final proof in the morning, before a post-lunch filing goal.

We are golden.  It is remarkably stress-free.

Ahhhh.

 

Happiness and Headaches

Happiness

• I’ve accepted the offer from the new job.  Man, does it feel good to know that I have landed without a gap in employment.  Hooray!
• The new job agreed to my starting AFTER February vacation week, so I don’t have to be in stress-mode while Mouse is home from school and her friends are all away. Lemon will be traveling with her crew team, and we are not traveling without her.  We thought about it last February, when it was freaking cold out we didn’t yet know that I’d have this transition forced upon me.  But since today – February 1 – it was 60 degrees outside – we aren’t feeling too bummed about the change in plans.
• The old job owes me 3 weeks’ vacation pay.  I didn’t know that until yesterday.  That will be a nice chunk o’ change. I am seriously considering a late-June re-do of last year’s vacation.  The house itself is very affordable, we will drive rather than fly, and we will all be happy with cooking in the house.  It could be great. It could be perfect.  Just what we need.
• I’m home a lot. I don’t have much work left, and most of what I do have can be done at home.
• When I’m home, I get to hang out with my kids.  And I like them.  And I have fun with them.  I love how much they make me laugh, I love how much they find what room I’m in, and hang out with me.  I love that Lemon came home today and laughed from the door way, yelling (to me), “Honey, I’m hooo-ooooome!” And that she then met me at her sister’s basketball game, and we went out for a sushi “snack” afterwards, chatting all the while.  Where are the nasty teen years?? (Don’t answer that.)
• Mouse had a doctor’s appointment (annual physical) yesterday.  I picked her up early, we went and grabbed some burritos, and then went to talk about how damned healthy, tall, athletic and smart she is.
• My girls are really enjoying each other lately. I may enjoy that more than them enjoying me.
• Tomorrow is mine and David’s 5th wedding anniversary.  When we went away for our birthdays this year, we realized that it was also our 10 year “dating” anniversary.  He got a haircut today, and he looks super-cute.  Also, he probably noticed today at the basketball game that I raided his sock drawer, but he didn’t complain.  He’s a great guy.

 

Headaches

• I had a 3 day headache.  For real.  Like, my head hurt.  An Advil fixed it, but I had to complain, because it just fits here so well.
• While I had posted previously that the Ex “was less resistant” to the idea of kicking things back to the level they should have been at all along, I was being overly optimistic. We are going back and forth with proposals.  He’s dragged the sharing of travel costs and tax deductions into our discussion, and he pisses me off.  Then he throws in his usual condescending asinine comments (i.e., “I am very sympathetic to the financial and professional difficulties you face at the moment . . . “), and I want to rip his face off.  For reals.  I still think we can reach an agreement, but dealing with his bullshit in the meantime drives me bonkers.
  • I wanted to retort that while I am facing a paycut, it was something I always knew was coming, AND!  Another thing!!  This is not a “professional difficulty,” at all!  This is a very logical and typical move at this stage of my career, and is resulting in increased experience!  You dummy!  Instead, I ignored his blah-blah, and responded only about the issues at hand.  So, ha!  You cannot rattle me!  [except that, really, he did.  because he's a jerk.]
• Also, the Ex just canceled the girls’ summer visit again.  So now David and I will both be working, and I think that the girls will be home.  Without much to do.  Last year, with me making gobs of money, we filled the time with crazy-costly camps (no, really — the girls were in camp with the grand-daughter of the owner of the Patriots, and with the daughter of the owner of Newbury Comics … we paid dearly).  This year, Lemon will likely be looking for someone to pay HER, and Mouse will be, uh . . . .
• Just after I came to terms with my reduced salary, I called the H.R. person at the New Job to find out about health insurance details.  They were bad.  Very bad.  I almost cried.  I didn’t know what to do – I was totally unprepared for the costs.  I know I’ve been spoiled and spoiled and spoiled, but this was a blow.  I have since spoken with some people that tell me that while the number was double what I pay currently, on a salary that’s half of what I currently have, it’s “normal” and “fair.”  Fortunately, they told me that AFTER I decided to negotiate this point with New Firm.  So, this maybe should be up there in “happiness,” because it looks like there will be movement on the issue.

So, thanks for reading!

I’m not ungrateful I swear . . .

I tried to do a “things I’m grateful for” post on Wednesday.  But then Lemon came home from a friend’s house and proceeded to have the usual “I’m leaving for the Middle of the Country tomorrow!” meltdown, and I got distracted.  Then yesterday (Thanksgiving), WD and I mostly stayed off our computers.  We took the girls to the airport for their 7;15 a.m. flight, and then went back home and into our bed.  I slept only fitfully until I knew the girls had landed safely, and then slept HARD until noon. Then we sort of hung around and read books and chatted all afternoon, until our delicious dinner out.

Today, I was up early to meet a friend for a walk, which was good.  It was a nice crisp but sunny morning.  Now I’m back with my Dragons, and with my laundry and my play producing.  I’m talking WD into putting up our holiday lights on our balcony, and we’re thinking about Christmas shopping for the girly-q’s.

Last year, we were relatively obnoxious with the Christmas gift buying. This year, we will not be obnoxious.  I found the “Want, Need, Wear, Read” outline over at Mom to the Screaming Masses, and plan to adopt it as my mantra for this year.  We will tell the girls that things will be a little more modest this year — but we won’t be quite all the way to austere.  Their “wear” will probably be Uggs, and I think Lemon’s “want” will be Harry Potter movies.  Not sure yet how many (I haven’t done the shopping) (oh, wait – I just did.  The complete set of all 8 movies on Blu-ray is $70.  So she’ll get that).  But she also wanted a keyboard, but she can’t get both.  For “need,” I can’t think of much that they need.  (Nice, huh?)  I am seriously and without a shred of joking thinking about socks & underwear.  Maybe socks, underwear & “extras” (what we call scarves, gloves, hats).

I have less ideas for Mouse.

But that’s my day.  Gift-planning, reading, walking.  Encouraging light-stringing.

Here’s the partial-post from Wednesday night, exhibiting my partially-formed list of things I’m grateful for.  If I had finished, I would have added anecdotes about my friends, my parents, my cats (I do love my cats).  At least.

 

_______________

 

 

As easy as it may be to wallow in the week following a lay-off, I find myself having a good time, and feeling very, very grateful:

• Last night, I checked in on my 15 year old daughter just before she went to bed, as I usually do. She is 15!!  That age where people are supposed to be glum, and supposed to hate their parents.  Stuff like that.  I offered her a hug, and she took me up on it.  The hug lasted a very, very long time.  When she was 1, 2, 3, 4, even 5 — thinking about having her on my lap for minutes upon minutes was nothing.  It was accepted.  But last night’s prolonged hug wasn’t “nothing.”  I am grateful for the hugs that I still get.
• Today, Mouse called as she was leaving school at noon (pre-holiday release time).  She was thinking of seeing a movie.  She was going to have lunch at a friend’s.  ”Oh, and hey – mom?  A is making me say this:  Um, J and I are a thing.  As of today.  Okay?”  J is a boy that I’ve suspected as a possibility for some time, but Mouse has denied it. A is Mouse’s closest friend (since 1st grade!) – the one who insists that she’s my third daughter, who posts on Lemon’s Facebook wall as ‘your other sister’ every day.  I am grateful that even when my teenage daughters do NOT want to confide in their mother, I have a relationship with their friends that kicks in.  I know this is a lighthearted middle school relationship, but I do truly believe that if there were a problem – a real problem with my girls –  the same would hold true.
• My girls are leaving tomorrow early in the morning to visit the Ex in the Middle of the Country.  I don’t like this.  I like them here.  But WD and I are doing what we can to make the holiday special, even without the most special parts of our days.  I am grateful for WD.  Because he helps to make my days special.  He knows what’s hard, and he works to make it better.  We are going out to dinner tomorrow night, at a nice restaurant.  We are /

(That’s where I stopped.)

Ballet, thwarted

I am supposed to take Mouse to the ballet tonight.  We were going to see Romeo & Juliet.  Her class is going to read the play this year, and she has other reasons for being very drawn to all things Romeo & Juliet, so we were pretty excited.  I got the tickets via Rue La La, and it was the first time I was so very enticed to buy something through there.  The tickets were $40/each, which felt easy.

Of course – she woke up feeling like shit this morning.

She is nauseous, thinks she’s gonna barf, feels dizzy and seems to be running a mild temp.

She is home from school. I tried to get her to rest and then try to go in late, but no dice.  Still felt like crap.

And my work that needs to get done today cannot be done from home.  And Writer  Dude has his Writer’s Group today, and one of the members got an editor-friend to go along with, so he really couldn’t/shouldn’t miss.  So Mouse is home moaning, groaning and clutching her stomach – alone.

[Actually, she's sound asleep, dead to the world, phone in hand to call me if things turn for the worse.]

If a day of rest makes her feel better – should I take her to the ballet anyway?

Decisions, decisions.

Facebook Friends

Well, that was fun.

Both of my girls are on Facebook. They both entered the fray in the spring of their 7th grade years.  Lemon was a little behind the curve for her grade, and Mouse was pretty much part of the great Flocking (i.e., most of her friends/grade signed up within the same weekend).

They both were given the choice — either you be my friend (or WD’s), or we get your password.

Lemon (potentially the cleverer of the two ….) said “I’ll be your friend, but get your paws off my password.” And I later discovered that she learned how to set up “groups,” and to block the group she’d labeled “Parents.”  Hmmm.

Mouse?  Well.  She gave us her password.  And instantly friended us.  Every time she changes her password, she tells us: “Hi!  My new password is ‘iamamazing!’ Love you! Bye!  KK?”

[See the difference in personalities?  See why my life is actually (sincerely) very fun?]

Lemon wasn’t on Facebook for long before she was BEGGING us to Stop. Commenting!  Not cool!  Actually disgusting! Leave me alone! [Yeah ... I know that's why the groups were created.]

I did stop.  I was responsive. [and the groups disappeared!]

When Mouse came along.  I continued to refrain from commenting, except every now and then.

[Truth be told, I comment "every now and then" with Lemon now, too.  She doesn't hate it anymore. I do try to be respectful, and *I* think I only make comments when they're clever - causing Lemon's friends to think: "oh, so that's where she gets her witty sense of humor!"]

Tonight, though – I got caught up.  I made a comment on a picture of Mouse (this picture — because OMG – who could resist?):

I said “she was the cutest little monkey!”

because of the new little ticker-thing on Facebook, the girls (Mouse’s friends) saw that I commented.

Because some of them are OBSESSED with Facebook, they responded to me within seconds.

Because I remembered that Lemon used to get so mad at me for commenting, I thought better of my comment, and deleted it!

The girls who hadn’t responded, but saw the responses to my response, were very confused.

There was uproar!!

“Mouse’s Mommy! Where did your comment go!”

Mouse joined in.  ”Awww, where did my mommy go???”

And then I embarked on 30 minutes of Facebook comments (on a couple different posts – a photo and a declaration that the girls planned to stay up until MIDNIGHT tonight) -

They were cute, and they were fun.  Lemon even joined in, “liking” my posts.

The fun ended when the girls (13 yo friends of Mouse) asked if they could friend me, and I said no.  Consistent with my policy.

[Because I don't need all of the 8th and 10th grades knowing that I swear on Facebook.]

Fun girls.

Sneaky: How we get our girls to read books we recommend

My husband and I went to the library last weekend (or was it the weekend before that?)  It was a beautiful day – crisp, cool air, a lovely breeze, and I dragged him by the hand to go for a walk.  We went to Starbucks for some green tea, a park to sit on a bench and enjoy the cool air, and then to the library.

We’ve both been a little sad lately, because as the girls have gotten older, their reading has dropped off a bit.  School is more challenging, extra-curriculars are more consuming.  They both often have a book in-hand, but they’re either re-reading things, or reading well below their reading level.  Or, in Mouse’s case, they pick up a book, read a little bit, and then just wander away … for good.  [I do not get that.  I suffer through even the worst book rather than walk away before finishing.]

Lemon has been driving me particularly crazy lately, as she has been re-reading the ENTIRE Harry Potter series.  I don’t know why it bothers me as much as it does (oh, yes I do, because I fear she’s being immature).

But while we were at the library, WD and I went to the book sale.  While WD often is looking for books for the girls as his first priority, I tend to be more selfish, looking for ME ME ME.  But this time,  I was scanning, mostly for the girls (since I prefer to read on my iPad since I got it, and the library – as far as I can tell – can’t help me there).  I found a couple of books that I thought Lemon may enjoy, and we bought them ($.50/pop – why not?)

When we got back to our house, the girls weren’t home.  I was about to take the books and put them on Lemon’s bed for her to find when she got home.

“No, you can’t do it like that.”  WD said, stopping me.

“Huh??”

“You have to put them on her shelf when she’s not looking.  Then when she goes staring at her shelf for something to read, she finds it and thinks, ‘hey – what’s this?’ Without commentary from us to rebel against, she reads them.”

I trusted him, because she does rebel against ANY recommendation I give her.  Any and all.  (She’s missing out on a lot of great books this way … for now.)

I left the books in WD’s charge, and kind of forgot about them.

The other day, I went into her room and saw he’d put one of them on her shelf.  I also saw she was (FINALLY!!!) almost through the last Harry Potter book.

This morning I was slow getting to work, and she was languishing in bed (it’s Rosh Hashanah – schools in our town are closed), reading one of the books!   I said nothing, but remarked she should be getting in the shower.

Ten minutes later – still reading.  Completely engrossed.  I had to (again) shove her toward the shower.

After her shower – she’s sitting on the edge of the bed, drops of water still on her, wrapped in a towel — reading the book!! She could NOT put it down.

And so, WD’s plan gets gold stars.  I am excited that I can anonymously recommend books to my kid.

Curious, though, what HER view is of that bookshelf.  I mean, she’s not stupid.  She knows they’re coming from somewhere.  She has our larger family bookshelves completely memorized.  She notices if we move a single book out of the order it was in the day before.

Maybe she just accepts it as her own private Narnia of Books.

We’ll have to figure something out for Mouse, too.  But she’s still too busy reading the script for her play, over and over and over.

 

The Drama May be the Death of Me

Yesterday was the first rehearsal of our school musical.  The first rehearsal is when the kids find out their parts.  Mouse had been very anxious leading up to what we call “Parts Day.”

I also was anxious and stressed leading up to the day, because I am producing the musical, and had a lot of variables to put in place to get the production up and running.

In the end, everything went great.  Mouse is no longer anxious, but instead frantically reading the script over and over, doing her best to memorize her lines.  I am content knowing that our pieces did fall into place, and now that the production period has begun, I can slip into the background while the directors work their magic.  Of course, there will be a few things I need to take care of here and there (along with my co-producer), but all in all – until we near show weekend -I can relax.

BUT!!

Before Mouse got her part, and while she was still chewing her nails in anticipation – Lemon came home with the announcement that the high school has revealed its musical choice, and auditions are 10/3 and 10/4.

Groan.

Here we go again!

The high school musical, though, is pretty different from the 7th/8th grade musical.  The main difference being that in 7th and 8th grade – everyone can act in the show.  If you audition, you get a part.  There are questions and anxieties about which part.  About whether or not you’ll be in the same cast as your friends (we have such high participation rates, we always have 2 casts).  But you never have to worry that you won’t get a part.

Not so in the high school.  In fact, Lemon knows very, very well that an audition at the high school does not mean you are guaranteed a single thing.  She auditioned for several things last year.  The freshman play, the improv troupe, an acapella group and the Shakespeare Play.  She didn’t get into any of them.

Poor Lemon.

She is the reason that I am a producer of plays, and I think she may have something to do with her sister’s theater bug.  Lemon was in her first musical the first year we moved to this town and it was an option – she was in 3rd grade, and she was in the chorus.  (I must say, that was kind of painful.  Lemon isn’t good at sitting still, and she used to be very, very bad at keeping her fingers out of her nose.  So by “being in the chorus” she was “sitting on the bleachers squirming to the point of almost falling off and picking her nose” for 2 hours. )  As soon as she could, she auditioned for acting parts.  She loved it so much, we signed her up for a community theater group as well (also not competitive).  She loves to sing, she loves to act.  She has never had stage fright in her life.   For quite some time, she was thinking about what college has the best theater program.  This is a real love of hers.

Fortunately, she is a very resilient kid.  She didn’t get into the high school productions in her freshman year, but still doesn’t hesitate to try out for the next one.  ”I’ll take drama as an elective next year, and get stronger, and then I’ll get in.”  She happily filled her time with sports during her freshman year, and didn’t seem to linger over the rejection from the theater department.

[Although she may be lingering in her head, and just not telling me.]

Now it’s time for the musical auditions.  She really wants to be a part of this musical.  She didn’t try out last year, because she didn’t think she’d get in, and so instead focused on the Freshman Play (and didn’t get in).  So this is her first time auditioning for the musical.  This year’s show choice is one that allows for a big ensemble, so she does have a decent shot.  But she is also kind of rusty, especially vocally.

To help her with her confidence and rustiness, I have done something I never pictured myself doing before — I set her up with voice lessons to prep for this audition.

It feels so stage-mom-like.

I’ve never put money into prepping either kid for an audition before.  They have always had fun, and been relatively low-key.  Lemon has had voice lessons in the past, but at her request and in line with her hope to one day have some involvement in music.  Those lessons stopped at the end of last school year because her voice teacher moved out of our state.  I had intended to get her a new voice teacher (again at her request), but she’s immersed in fall crew, and we really haven’t had time.  If she already had a voice teacher, she would work with that person to get ready for this audition, so maybe I shouldn’t feel strange.  But I kind of do.

This morning, before her first prep session (she’ll have 2, I think), she went to the library to look for music for some of her favorite musicals.  We have a few other books, thanks to my involvement in the elementary school plays, and she has some ideas.  I just heard that the library trip was not fruitful, so I’m glad we had the back ups, which she’d already been through and chose some possible songs from.

In the meantime, WD has been helping her with the required monologue.  He found her some collections of comedic monologues (what they prefer), and she is working through those, too.

I’m usually pretty good about keeping my life separate from my kids’ lives, but Lemon’s auditions tend to have me on the edge of my seat.  I think I will have some anxiety leading up the auditions, and waiting for the results.  This anxiety has, in the past, manifested itself in such a way that I received the following text from Lemon:  ”Mom!  You texted me in the middle of a math test! And they haven’t posted the list yet!”

Oops.

 

 

Happy Birthday to Her

Lemon is (finally) 15 today.

I have this annoying, inherited habit, wherein I start to call my children the age that they are GOING to be, starting around their 1/2 birthday mark.  So, in my mind, Lemon has been 15 since March.  Makes for rather anticlimactic birthdays.

Our plans for the day are pretty low-key.  She’s in bed now (duh, it’s not 11 yet). Then she wants to “hang out with friends.”  We will have her chosen meal at dinner, her chosen cake afterward.  We will bestow gifts upon her.  But the gifts, too, are anticlimactic.

I bought her tickets to see How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying.  But the tickets are for a show in January.  Why so very far away? Someone may ask.  Because that is when Darren Criss will be standing in for Daniel Radcliffe.  She is a huge fan of Criss’s work on A Very Potter Musical. (Only available on You Tube, and therefore very annoying to watch.  She’s made me watch it.  Or, rather, the first act.  She hasn’t been able to twist my arm through the second act.  While I find the show clever and fun, it really doesn’t come close to my still-favorite Harry Potter You Tube Spin Off.  Yes, I’ve linked to it before, and I promise you, I will again.)

His work on Glee, however, has brought ME into the Darren Criss fan club.  (It makes me very sad that I cannot find a link for his version of Pink’s Raise Your Glass, because it’s my real favorite.  ”Baby it’s Cold Outside” is a very close second.)  Also – his theater work and career trajectory is a fun one for my very theater and performance-interested child to admire.

We will likely see at least one other show while there.  But these tickets are (symbolically) her birthday present.

Writer Dude is working toward another of her latest obsessions – photography.  She is saving up for a digital SLR camera, and is looking to spend more time taking photos.  She took photography in her freshman year, and is taking Photo II this year in the spring.  She’s really enjoying it, and really wants to do more with it (although crew and its intense time commitments YEAR ROUND have made it tough).

She’s already gathered up a few hundred dollars toward her camera.  He found her a few books/manuals to contribute, and will add a little money to her pot.  My mother is also going to give her some more $$.  So is the Ex.  But I still don’t think it’s enough.  If she can be patient, though, she’ll have enough after Christmas gifts roll in.

Mouse is going to find something TODAY to add to the pile of gifts (or, rather, cards).  She wants to find something Harry Potter related.  Dunno what, though.

And – that’s the birthday.  I think some of the friends she wants to hang out with have little gifts & trinkets for her, but it’s not a “party.”  Maybe they’re too old for that?  I am not really sure.  I know both my girls go to less birthday parties, and the “birthday parties” have been changing dramatically.

I just hope she feels special all day.  Because she really, really is.

A week old (and even though I looked 12, I was 23)

3 month old Lemon

One year old

3 years old.

8 or 9 years old

First Day of Sophomore Year

 

And now, 15 years old.

 

Happy birthday, sweetie – love you lots & lots.

Today is my “ahhh” day

This is THE day this week that I do not have school-related things on either side of my work day, and it’s bliss.

Last night, I had 20 people in my house.  TWENTY!  We all sat in my dining room.  This dining room:

My dining room, taken 2 years ago when we first moved in. Only slight variations since.

How?  I’m not sure.  We have 8 dining room chairs, 4 kitchen island chairs, my office chair, Mouse’s desk chair, 2 desk chairs in Lemon’s room, plus 6 deck chairs.  So we made a BIG circle around the table, and it worked.

The meeting was of fellow parents in Mouse’s grade.  I’m a huge proponent of what we’ve deemed our “Parenting Exchange.”  The entire grade is invited to each meeting, which we have every 6 weeks.  The meetings are relatively formal – we have topics chosen ahead of time, and we have a facilitator (just a parent – rotates around the group) who keeps things on track, both topic- and time-wise.  We really only use the meeting to check in on what other kids are doing, what other parents are wrestling with, how honest are kids are being when they pull out the inevitable “but all my friends are allowed to!”

We started when they were in 6th grade, and the town started having dances, the kids started asking if they could walk further and alone (our town is conducive to that), the homework started to get harder, etc.

There are some parents who never miss, but others come only occasionally, and others still have been only once.  It doesn’t matter – we still invite everyone every time.

I find it invaluable not only because of the actual conversation or things learned, and not only because of the connections that we truly do make with other parents that we might otherwise not — but because our kids watch us. They know they do this.  They know we talk.  I don’t only talk to my friends – I talk to my entire community.  So if they want to skip a class and wander around our village with their friends – they can’t think “pfft, mom’s at work, she’ll never find out.”  They have to worry about EVERY mom.  EVERY dad (we often have as many dads as moms, by the way).  That is my favorite part.

And my kids aren’t even sneaky.

But having 20 people over made for an insane day.  I left work early to come home and prep the house.  WD pitched in x10 (as usual), so I didn’t need as much time as I took.  We also had to find Mouse a place to go, because that is one of our “rules” – the kids should not be home when we meet (so they don’t learn things they have no business knowing).

After everyone left – by 9:15, I had to fight with one of my children.  Because life’s not complete without at least one argument per day when living with 2 teens.

I asked Mouse to find a place to go from 7:00 – 8:30.  We have friends who live steps away in 4 different directions.  Literally steps.  Literally across our small street in 2 directions, plus around a very short block corner.

But what does she do?  Knowing she has (a) homework, and (b) the messiest room in the universe that MUST be clean by Thursday a.m.?  She makes plans with a friend who lives the furthest away, starting right after school.  WD negotiated with her for some time after school – reminding her that if she hangs out all day long, using “Mom said I have to go somewhere” as the excuse, she’d have to come home straight after school tomorrow to clean her room and do homework, and she’d have to clean her room that evening, even though it means she cannot watch Glee.  She said, “Awww.  But okay.”

Guess what the fight was about?

Not so much that she could not watch Glee, but more that Lemon and I were daring to watch it anyway!!

What??!!  That’s not fair!  You never watched it with ME last year when SHE couldn’t!

But that was because she was doing her homework, not hanging out with friends.  You made your  choice.

It’s not because I was hanging out with friends!  It’s because YOU are making me CLEAN MY ROOM!! 

See how I made her letters red?  To convey her anger?

We also had a lot of bickering about the meaning of the word “grounded.”  Saying that she has to clean her room by Thursday (housecleaning day), and that she has to be in the house in order to clean her room, does not mean she is grounded.

Yes it does! because I can’t go anywhere!  That’s being GROUNDED!  

No, that’s telling you that you need to clean your room.  Which is in your house.  If you finish at 3:30, you can do something else.

What am I going to do at 3:30?  There’s nothing to DO at 3:30!!!

Whaaaa?

Fortunately, she finished off her hissy fit with lots of energy that she put toward cleaning her room!

If only she skipped the hissy fit.  It would have been nice.

Although I did feel bad for her, because (a) Glee featured a song from her play this year – the song she auditioned with (Anything Goes), and (b) her sister, out of habit, hit the “delete” button on the DVR when we finished watching.  Oops.  Thank god for Hulu.