July 20, 2010

The girls are still away.

So far, I haven’t had tons of contact.  Nothing compared to years past.

When they were there for their school vacation weeks this year there was a huge reduction in phone calls and text messages (oh, the text messages!).  I see this is a good thing.  It’s good for them to be where they are.  Checking in now and again is fine.

A couple of years ago, when S~ was texting me incessantly, it was not good.  I can’t imagine that the Ex was happy about it.  Yet, things weren’t going well, and I didn’t feel like I could cut her off.

I am comfortable with them needing me less.  There are moments where I get a pang of nostalgia, maybe even [inappropriate] twinges of jealousy.  Come on – can he really not have 3 weeks without me pouting?  3 weeks?

But then last night … Facebook stuck its meddling little fingers into my comfort level.

First, S~ did a little meme thing, and one of the questions was “when is the last time you cried really hard?” and her answer was “Friday or Saturday.”  Why?  Why was she crying?  What happened?  Are they fighting?  Are things not going well again?  WD called last night, and I told him that I was concerned.  He tried to get me to chill.  S~ works herself up at times.  If she and I get in an argument, she’ll cry, and she’ll have a fit, and the next thing you know, she’s crying “really hard.”  (Usually complaining that it’s because I’m mad at her.  Duh.  She was just a jerk!)  And I’m telling her to knock it off and stop being so dramatic, and to have a conversation with me.  And two minutes later everything is fine.

But that’s in my MY house.

Deep breaths.

Then, the Ex’s mother posted on S~’s wall, asking about camp.  S~ announced that L~ decided not to do her [kayaking and canoeing] camp this week, but that S~ is at her drama camp.

So what is L~ doing?  Why isn’t she doing the camp?  The last time S~ did a camp and L~ did not, L~ spent the entire days playing the Wii and watching television.  She was unhappy and bored, and calling me saying she wanted to come home.

What is going on!  Why didn’t I know that S~ was crying and that L~ isn’t doing camp. [Because they are at their father’s house right now … ]

I’m sure everything is fine.  Like WD said, if things were BAD, they’d call.

And in the meantime, L~ is emailing me almost every day, and S~ is texting occasionally (usually with “did my schedule come yet?” or some other demanding Q without any pretense of “hi mom, how are you?” attached whatsoever.)  So it’s not completely radio silence.

but still ….


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