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Whirlwind! And More Wind!

September 2, 2010

Wow, is my head spinning.

I have every intention to blog more regularly, and for a while, it was going well.

Then work happened.

Geez Louise.

We have a trial coming up.  It has been “coming up” since I was assigned to the case in November.  Or maybe October.  I knew that once we finally got a real trial date – not a fake trial date that was only assigned to try and force us to settle, apparently – life would be crazy.

But only NOW do understand what “life will be crazy” means.

It’s crazy.

Hence the radio silence.

But I’m checking in.

I think my kids are mad at me.

Especially Mouse.

Probably because she was off gallivanting all summer, so now that she’s home, she misses mom, and mom is busy.

Or maybe not.

Maybe she doesn’t miss mom.  She’s just tired from a summer of go-go-go, and bummed because although the go-go-go has been fun, it’s made her summer fly by in a way no summer in the past has flown.

Or maybe she just doesn’t want to go back to school.  Maybe the end of 6th grade showed her that the social world in these upper-middle-school years sucks.  Maybe she’s afraid of how defensive she has to be from friends more than non-friends.  Maybe she isn’t up for the teasing from “friends” about boys, and maybe she isn’t up to returning to whispers of crushes and alliances and betrayals.

Maybe.

But it makes me unhappy that something seems to be lurking.  And it makes me nervous how much she denies that anything is off, and how impossible it is to get her to talk about how she’s feeling.

So I do what I do best — feel guilty & blame myself.  Make it “all about me.”

___________________________________

A hurricane is coming.  The red zone that is under a “hurricane watch” is creeping closer and closer to my town.  My office isn’t inside the red yet, but I think it will be soon.  The storm is due to come in tomorrow, and I have no choice but to be here … on the 43rd floor … prepping for trial.

I love storms.  I don’t want anyone to DIE, and I don’t want to see homes destroyed, but I do love a good windstorm, and I don’t mind a little power outage.  If I had my way, I’d be driving to the ocean to watch the wild waves.

But that’s the problem.  I don’t have my way.  Instead of driving to the ocean to check out the storm up-close-and-personal, I will be swaying around, probably nauseous, on the 43rd floor.

Bummer.

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