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Where the Soreness Comes From

April 3, 2011

Origin No. 1

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a bat mitzvah for the daughter of a close friend.  The daughter, also, is a close friend. The party was a fun time, but when I left, I scolded myself:

Self, you need to stop being so self-conscious.  You need to stop thinking you can’t get out there and dance.  It looks fun, and it is fun.  People don’t look to you to have a perfect body, or to be a professional dancer.  You need to get over yourself, and have more fun.

I was unhappy that a friend of mine who loves to dance wasn’t dancing, because she didn’t want to dance alone.  But when I did dance, I just felt … fat.  Awkward.  Uncoordinated.  Silly.

But I recognize that those feelings are more silly than I would feel for dancing.

I’m 38 years old.  Why is this the first time that I thought to give myself this lecture?

This past Friday, a friend had a party.  It’s an annual thing. Last year, WD made the playlist for the party, and he loaded it with 80s songs.  Many people, including WD, got up and danced.  They had a blast.

I sat on the couch.

This year, I got on the dance floor.  I started off thinking “most of the people dancing are thinner than me,” and then I thought – on purpose and with some resolve, “fuck it.”

And I danced.  I caught WD looking a couple of times and thought, “I wonder if I look crazy-silly?” and again, I thought, “fuck it,” and I danced some more.

At 2 a.m., we collapsed onto the couches.  Our numbers had somewhat dwindled, but it was the first time that the 2 a.m. crowd didn’t consist of me, my dear friend the hostess, and one or two too-drunk stragglers that we tried to kick out so we could decompress after the party.

I had the best time.

I am also pleased to report that although this party has been the event where I am most likely to drink too much – that was not the case this year.  It was this party, 3 years ago, where I barely left my bed the following day.  It was that bad.  But this year?  I don’t know about most people, but I cannot dance with a drink in hand, and when I dance like a fool, all I really want to drink is water.

Origin No. 2.

Despite the fact that we were out Very Late on Friday night, last night we gussied ourselves up again (this is so not like us), and ventured out to meet friends for a birthday celebration.  Dinner reservations at 8, bowling alley reservations at 9:30.

I lost.  Therefore, this installment is short.  Dammit.

(But the ball was heavy and unfamiliar in my hands)

Origin No. 3.

A friend called this morning.  She asked if I wanted to go for a walk.  I gave a moment’s pause, and said, “hell yeah.”  I was dressing for the walk, and consulted with WD.  “Not sure what to wear, here.  It’s 43 degrees, but I’m used to running, but she wants to walk.  I’d usually just wear 2 layers, but I’m not sure I’ll warm up enough walking …”  So I wore a long-sleeved shirt, a sweatshirt, and a fleece.

I should have known better.  This friend is in better shape than me.  I should have known that “Suzie Running” = “Friend Walking / 2”  We moved FAST.  I sweat like mad, and was stripping off my middle layer within minutes.

But we had a great “walk” and a great talk.

Origin No. 4.

I had a doctor’s appointment on Friday morning.  The results of this procedure weren’t perfect, and I’d been putting off the repair.  It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal – in-office, local anesthesia only.  I took the day off from work, took a deep breath, and went and took care of it.

It took a little longer than expected.  It wasn’t too fun being awake.  But all-in-all, it wasn’t bad.  I adore my doctor – even though a follow-up procedure was necessary, I still think the world of him as a surgeon (after all, he does some remarkable things), and his bedside manner is outstanding.  When I followed up to say my initial results did not seem fully successful, he agreed without argument, and did not charge me or my insurance for the repair.  I enjoyed my conversations with him during this follow up, where we talked about his childhood on a dairy farm in Sweden, as well as his recent (see link) professional endeavors (as much as is possible in light of confidentiality issues).

When I was leaving, he said, “Just be sure to rest today and tomorrow, and everything should be fine.”

So what do you think?  When he said to “rest today and tomorrow” – do you think he meant “Go dancing for 4 hours until 2 a.m. and be sure to pick up a few dozen bowling balls.” ????

I actually felt it at the end of the 2nd game of bowling.  I thought I’d be okay because it was my left arm, and I bowl with my right, but as the night wore on, I felt like I’d pushed it a bit.  And resolved to rest on Sunday, to make up for it.  but I couldn’t resist the walk!  And I don’t walk (or whatever the hell that sprint was called) with my ARMS.

So, I’m sore.  But it’s in my legs and my feet and my hips, not in my stitches …

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