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SisterHoodShip

April 17, 2011


Sometimes, I look back on my own childhood and marvel at the huge part my sister plays in my memories.  As I get older, our arguments are harder to remember.  But our nights spent playing spit while listening to Cyndi Lauper until 3 or 4 a.m. occupy huge pieces of my memory.  I remember her as my closest friend during childhood.  Especially in our teen years.  I remember coming out a fog of rebellion and bad relationship, and HER being the one who would ride around in the car with me, singing the songs of independence and personal strength (Sinead O’Connor sang those, by the way).  The memories of getting in trouble together, of sneaking around, of egging my parents on. (Especially when they were convinced that the fact that we knew every word to Sinead’s version of a classic Irish folksong meant that we were lesbians … having an incestuous relationship.  Fundamentalist Christians are weird.  And paranoid.)

My sister an I even coined a term (at least we thought we did) — we called it Sisterhoodship.  An amalgamation of sisterhood and friendship.

And then I watch my girls fight (a lot), and I feel sad.  Very sad.  That they don’t like each other more.

But this week, I’m seeing more.  I’m seeing more than the fights.  I’m seeing those memories – they’re recognizing them from their own past, and they’re creating new ones.

The angst that they have about the visits to the Middle of the Country has always been something that brings them together. But while things were unfolding this week, I saw sides of their relationship that I’m not always privy to.  When Lemon made the decision to come home early, and Mouse was upset – Lemon consoled her sister.  She gave her a hug, and she said, “Mouse, we can video chat every night.  I will email you, and we can talk, and we’ll stay in touch.”  And Lemon accepted the hug.  (for at least 30 seconds before they started elbowing each other and giggling and falling on the floor.)

Today, in the airport, they had inside jokes, and they were good.  They were laughing about Mouse’s fear of flying, and Lemon suggested that she was Mouse’s airplane talisman.  “You’ll always be safe, if you’re with me!” And Mouse agreed.  They came up with goofy scenarios  (“Hi, Lemon, I’m going on my honeymoon, can you meet me at the airport?”) and just generally … loving each other.

Yesterday, Mouse was explaining to me that when they’re in the Middle of the Country, they are mostly “like best friends,” but when they do get in a fight, “it’s like we can really kill each other.”

[Two Years Ago]

I remember that, too.  But those are the things that have faded.

I think they’re more good than I realize.  And I also think my mother had no idea what was going on those nights where Fishy (my sis’s nickname) and I stayed up until 3 a.m. playing cards and singing with Cyndi (Iko, Iko Unday …) She just was mad because we wouldn’t wake up at a reasonable hour the next day.

I’m feeling more optimistic than I have in the past.  Optimistic that when they’re adults, they will find support in each other, and they will have a friendship that goes beyond just being sisters.

[A Month Ago]
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