Posts Tagged ‘lay offs’

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Pre-Acceptance Freak Out

January 28, 2012

Friday was a busier day than I anticipated. I thought I’d have my 10 am informational interview, and then a restful day at home, maybe with a phone call or two.

But my 10 am “informational” interview felt more like a real interview, and then I checked in with a friend who works at that firm for a while.  He ended up being close with one of the associates at the offer firm, so he put us in touch to chat.

I went home, spoke to this associate for an hour, and then called next week’s firm to see if I could move things up, and then had real work to do, and then decided to engage in negotiations with the ex to get child support up to snuff. Then I freaked out, a la paycheck calculator.

Here are some of the results:

  • Associate at offer firm gave a very nice and candid view of the firm. I ended up even more excited to work there. It was good.
  • Next week’s interview can’t be moved up: the firm is in talks with a senior person to come in as a partner. They were thinking if he does come in, they’d bring me in as a junior person to support him. But timing can’t be rushed, and the area isn’t my first choice (and isn’t – really – what my resume indicates I would do, so …. ????). I’m keeping the Thursday lunch on the Calendar for the sake of the “longer view.” it’s not going to be an option for me right now.
  • The Ex was less resistant than I anticipated. I’d done a good job for the past year or so in prepping him for the reality that I would not be at big firm forever, and therefore wouldn’t be able to continue to discount child support forever. I think we can avoid court.
  • But the paycheck calculator was mean to me. 

This will not be easy. I’m nowhere near having to make huge changes, like moving out of my house or selling my car, but the series of little changes are going to hurt. 


A friend joked today, “you won’t be able to run out and get the newest iPhone and iPad anymore!” not that I’d need a new iPad. Mine is great. But if the iPhone 5 comes out ….  


No, seriously. The clothes budget will be an issue, the food budget will be affected. Things like $200 athletic fees for sports will start to hurt. 


We like Calistoga Springs sparkling water, the orange flavor. David tends to buy a case of it now and again, bc it’s cheaper by the case. I was having a glass last night, and wondered “can we keep buying this?” I asked him how much it was, and he really didn’t know. “do you think we will have to look at things that closely?” he asked.  Yes. Yes, I do.


I may need to have Lemon quit her voice lessons.


And the  there’s my other hold out – Third to house and car – the housecleaners. A $200/month expense that I just can’t imagine giving up. I’d rather cancel cable. Having a lower income doesn’t mean I have a lesser job. (Odd as that may be, but the reality when you start out in BigLaw). I don’t have any more time to scrub and polish. The housecleaners don’t tidy – they keep up with the floors, the bathrooms, the dust bunnies under the radiators. And they force us (because all of our personalities require force) to keep up with our personal messes on a twice-monthly basis, so the dust and grime underneath the clutter can be addressed.


Before we had them, I was a sad lady. A mad lady. Weekends were unhappy times because I was resentful that I spent the week working and then the weekend cleaning. So maybe I’d sit on the couch and pout, instead of cleaning, and things were yucky. Then we’d plan to have friends over, and I’d have no choice but to tackle the weeks’ (or months’) worth of grime, and I’d go on a rampage. Cleaning and bitching would go hand-in-hand. I would, essentially, turn into my mother. And like the generations before them, my kids and husband would hide in corners somewhere or leave the house. 


I can’t think of anything other than these housecleaners that has increased the quality of my life to this degree.  Maybe my iPhone. Maybe – but it may have detracted, really, because of the, well, distraction.


So I will tenaciously hold on.


And we will tighten the belts and see how it feels.


And David is still on the job market. It was easier for me because the legal market here is picking up, but other markets are still slow.  I also am currently employed, and he, in contrast, has been managing the home for the past 5-6 years. He got a masters in that time, too, but even that is somewhat in the past. And in the time that he’s been looking, he kinda caught pneumonia – so, things have been slower.


Once he’s settled, I think we will be even closer to ok. 


And so – there I am. Freaking out, but still optimistic. Could be worse, right?


I could have to move … And I do not.

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Day-by-Day

November 22, 2011

I feel like I am still on a rollercoaster, emotionally, but the dips and hills are not so crazy-wild as they were before I received my lay-off news.  I’ll feel fine one minute and happy to distract myself by immersing myself into the play that I’m producing, and then the next moment, I’ll feel inexplicably sad. Things that make me sad:

  • The HR person who’s supposed to be holding my hand through next steps knowing ZERO answers to very reasonable and foreseeable questions;
  • going to court with a long-time pro bono client, knowing that I won’t be around for the next review date;
  • wondering when we will next be able to travel.

But for the next several days, I’m going to be home and enjoying the holiday.  Monday will start the huge push toward the job search, but first – Thanksgiving.

The girls are going to the Middle of the Country this year.  WD and I thought about taking a trip at the same time, but our time was too short and prices were too high.  The girls leave on Thanksgiving morning, at some ungodly hour, so we won’t even drive to see my parents.  Instead, we made reservations.

Last year was the first year that we had a really nice meal out on Thanksgiving. Only, we weren’t at home.  The menu wasn’t so different from this year’s.  WD had the turkey, and I went with the lamb, thinking I was being adventurous.

Instead, I missed having turkey.

So guess what I plan to eat this year?  Yep.  Turkey.  It’s gonna be delicious!

Other than the meal out, WD and I have no plans for our long-long weekend.  I will probably spruce up the resume a bit more, and maybe do some job searching.  I may prompt him to do the same.  I’m sure we will watch movies.  I would like to watch The Shining again – haven’t in a long time.  I’ve been on a horror movie kick since we saw Rosemary’s Baby with Lemon recently.  That movie was outstanding.  Then came American Horror Story, and my old appetite for creepy is rejuvinated.  But it is creepy that I like – not slasher.  And there’s less out there that fits my requirements, as opposed to sheer “scary guy waiting behind the door with a big knife” crap.  The psychological aspects of my kind of creepy must be well-developed.  I want some intelligence in my creep.

I also plan to exercise a good bit over the long weekend.  Some running, some strength.  Would like to firm up a bit before I start the interview circuit.  Although I have a lunch with a partner at a firm on Monday, and I’m not sure there’s much I can do about the lack of firmness before Monday.